On the Internet, I recently came across a statement: “Art washes away the dust of every day life.”

This sounded cool and new to me, and so I was immediately interested. This snippet of text was made all the more interesting because it was superimposed on a very nice and seemingly relevant and appropriate photographic image. And the layout was also tastefully done—including the choice of font. As far as I can tell, and though not intended as a commercial announcement, it had a couple of great things going for it that made it easy to take notice and hard to ignore: intellectual impact and visual impact.

I thought this aphorism was worth sharing, and so, without thinking much, I typed it directly into my Facebook status, as I usually do, for all and sundry to see. As expected, I earned a number of appreciative “Likes” from like-minded FB friends. All is well then.

But wait, a few minutes after posting it, I felt a certain remorse. It was the kind of remorse where something more had to be done. Something was missing. It is not enough and it isn’t appropriate to post an idea or float a thought on the Internet just like that—without proper attribution. I realized that credit must be rightfully given. In my excitement to share, I forgot to properly attribute the quote. I did not mention its author. And many of us forget all the time.

I have always been a very strong proponent of giving credit where credit is due, and so, to mend my erroneous way, I googled it. Lo, and behold, the name of person to whom this quote is commonly attributed was revealed: Pablo Picasso. Of course, there’s more to it than that. The common answer is Pablo Picasso,According to the site, AnswerBag, “he may well have said it, but he was quoting from Berthold Auerbach, a German novelist (1812-1882), who (originally) said ‘Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.’ long before Picasso was born (Picasso was born in 1881).” Now that was interesting—contextually. My understanding and appreciation of the statement just became deeper, richer, and so much more satisfying.

Actually, tt wasn’t surprising at all, but good to know nonetheless to whom the quote is properly attributed and how it came about. And, it didn’t take too long to find out or too much effort. Knowing who said it or who wrote, or from where it came from or how it originated, gave the quote a much more meaningful dimension, for me at least, and hopefully, for others as well.

Online, there are two kinds of attributions. The first, and inherently essential, one that should always be done, is the kind that’s the one above—acknowledging the author of the statement (or the work). And second, also important but perhaps not equally, is acknowledging the source from where the statement (or the work) was seen or found. The first is primarily content, and the second is the medium.

Acknowledging both the message and the medium is what gives anything and everything on the Internet its context. We should make a habit of doing so—all the time.

Now, here’s where it becomes a tad more complicated: the beautiful photo image where I saw the uncredited text artfully superimposed on wasn’t credited as well. I’m sure that the picture didn’t just shoot itself. The question now is, how can I google the picture the way I googled the text?

[So, do you want to see pictures that are actually properly attributed? Click here.]

This year, I got addicted to the daring stuff that a daring man named John Gruber puts out on the Internet, mostly on his website, the Daring Fireball. For me, as a professional photographer, that’s saying quite a lot because he rarely, if at all, talks about anything remotely connected to photography. I don’t know how I got into him, or how he got to me for that matter, but I find just about every post he puts out, and his views, to be quite fascinating. From what I’ve read so far, he goes on and on mostly about tech stuff of the Apple variety. That’s where I mainly see my attraction, my connection, and my addiction to him. But, really, why would a photographer like me be interested in stuff that has mostly nothing to do with photography? Well, in the last 10 years, as a digital photographer, I’ve seen the tools of my trade change. Or, let’s say, evolve. And there’s that something right there in that process of change or evolution that needs a whole lot of figuring out. Because to a certain extent photography is now largely based on new and newer digital technology, I need to understand what’s happening and what’s going on. And yes, all the stuff too that will happen sooner than later. For ruminations and divinations on exactly that, I read this daring man named John Gruber.

[Note: I'm not sure if my photographs qualify as "daring," but do take a look over at Zatista and see for yourself.]

Every now and then, as I sometimes foray aimlessly into the wilderness that is the Internet, I stumble upon gems that serves to enrich my experience as a photographer and as a visual artist. I’m sure my experience is not unique. What with the incredible wealth of information all around, it is hard to imagine anyone living a sustained creative life in a vacuum. Creativity, like most everything in life, must be nourished in order to grow. And what with the Internet’s big pipes, among other things, we are mercilessly subjected by the strong currents of swirling forces all around us—all the time. About the only reasonable thing we can do is to allow ourselves to open up to those many serendipitous bits that scurry along and which we feel matters the most. It’s almost like plucking pieces of puzzles floating aimlessly all around in a huge vat of information pool. So, we build our lives today by bits and bytes, actually just like for the most of our past, but in a more intensely interesting way than ever before.

[Note: My so-called "forays" have led me to many interesting places. Please click on Zatista to see what I've seen.]

Do you know how long it takes to be a master at a particular thing? It takes 10,000 solid hours of experience. At the least! That assertion, based on research, was made well known by author Malcolm Gladwell in his recently released bestselling non-fiction, The Outlier.

After doing some simple calculations, this means that to be really good at one thing, one has to devote almost 8 to 10 years to be able to reasonably do something at a level of true excellence—spending at least 4 hours a day every single day. That is a conservative estimate, of course, meaning that a person must reasonably devote and apply one’s self consistently to the mastery of a single thing. The time to really master one thing can take a bit longer if a person is hampered by other constraints, such as a full-time job, interests and hobbies in other fields, and social responsibilities as well as obligations that all take away precious time from pursuing mastery. If one decides to fast-track mastery, the shortest humanly possible time when it can be done is about 3 to 5 years, but then, that means there’s going to be no time for anything else including eating and sleeping. How about a shortcut? There is no shortcut, according to Malcolm Gladwell. One has no choice but to simply commit and devote to the 10,000 hours.

What does it have to do with being a photographer? Well, photography is one of those things that requires 10,000 hours to master, even (and most specially) in the advent of digital photography.

The era of “digital” of photography is relatively new. It is, as a matter of fact, still in the process of evolution. Many great discoveries are still being made, which is a sign that this field hasn’t yet matured. This is a time when even well-known master photographers are coping up with learning new things every day in this relatively young “digital” field of photography. Which means, if an individual is going into it only at about this time, that should tell us that he has a very long way to go. Anyone who has been lured only recently into photography because of its popular digitization means that one must begin to take serious steps to its learning and mastery. Those who engage in digital photography in a haphazard way, as a hobby for example, cannot hope to master it just yet. It really takes a long time. So, just because a person decided to own a pro-looking dSLR camera and learn the rudiments of the digital camera’s technical operations, and perhaps, dabble a bit into the post-production workflow that is necessary to completing the photographic process for a few intense days, doesn’t necessarily mean that he is an expert at what he is doing, or will he be an expert any time soon. It takes time.

Many people wonder or are naive about the nature of photography. How hard can it really be? If you see someone clicking a camera to take a shot and posting “nice-looking” pictures on the web, many are mislead to believe that anyone can do that too. That’s because professional photographers make it look easy, very easy. That’s how it is with pros—the long years of practice, learning and experience they have undergone, specially those who started with film photography, has given them the power, confidence, talent and skills that seems to make it look easy to anyone. That is simply an illusion. Such an ease has taken the true professional photographers years to develop. It is, of course, the same with any other profession or field of endeavor. Anybody can pick up a pen and paper or type on a computer, and start writing, but that doesn’t make one a professional writer.

Of course, anyone can fake it. If a person knows enough, it is possible to bluff one’s way into photography. But it seems baffling that anyone will do something at the risk being discovered a charlatan. It’s actually easy to uncover the untrained photographer—even with just a quick look at the manner and style of shooting, and even with something as simple as how one holds a camera up to the eye when looking through the viewfinder at a subject. And that’s just the act of shooting! How about things like being able to properly read a histogram, identify the difference between color spaces and profiles, measure the quality and characteristics of light, properly process RAW image files? It goes on and on. Because photography is specially a seamless blend of both technical expertise and artistic merits, one needs to devote a whole lot of time to learn and master all these, and more.

The advent of the digital age has opened up the art and craft of photography to a lot of people of all ages. And that is a very good thing. The revival of interest in photography on a massive scale tells us that we can now record all important moments in our lives and enjoy it. Unlike in the analog era when photography has been the domain of only a few, many didn’t have the opportunity to record personal lives. Nowadays, with its ubiquity, everyone can visually record such personal moments in, literally, a snap.

However, just because anyone can now take a picture with a digital box doesn’t mean that anybody can be a professional photographer. There is more to it, so much more, than just tripping the shutter.

The secret to mastery of any one thing is not just having an inclination but making a serious commitment to devoting one’s time—and it takes a whole lot of time. And this is where the chaff is separated from the grain, the amateur from the professional. If a person is just beginning now and doesn’t have the time to commit, it is best to rethink one’s options, directions and goals. Anyone can still enjoy it, but one has to give up hopes of becoming a master of it. But if a person is truly dedicated and committed, the doors are wide open to becoming a professional. Anyone is more than welcome.

About two years ago, in a past life it seems, while watching a fashion show in Manila, a jumpy tune came on that signaled the end and the curtain call for a designer who was presenting his collection. All the models jauntily walked out, almost filling the entire ramp, and out came the designer, to a loud applause that filled the ballroom.

It didn’t matter whether one liked the collection or not, what mattered was that one followed the obligatory moment of joining in the hearty clapping to express gratitude, if not admiration, for the work done and presented by the designer in that show. To anyone who has watched a fashion show, this is the polite, if not the right thing to do.

As I stood up and joined in the obligatory clapping—a ballroom full of people who were, more than anything else, appears to be relieved that the show was over, I found myself paying more than the usual attention to the music being played, than to the designer bowing and receiving bouquets of flowers in an overt acknowledgement of the crowd’s seeming adoration. Usually, designers never bother to walk the entire length of the runway. Designers would often just almost painfully pop out into where most everyone can see him, wave a little and bow a little and clasp his hands a little, and hurriedly exit behind the stage. But no, this time, the designer decided that he’d join his models in walking down the entire length of the catwalk. I can imagine that the crowd, like me, was a bit amused, but everyone took it all in good humor, and good grace. I mean, who would dare not honor the designer on his supposedly triumphant night? It was, after all, the right and proper thing to do for the audience.

To everyone’s collective relief, the designer, with his models, finally walked off as the stage light dimmed, and the house lights came on.

As I surveyed the crowd, and as they began to slowly and almost ritualistically file out of the ballroom, I can almost hear what was on everyone’s thoughts: The collection wasn’t exactly the best work of the designer, and certainly not the best compared to the work of any other designer (of which the ballroom was full of), and neither was the show memorable, but it was undeniable that, for an hour or so, as one model after another did their number on the ramp, that it was somehow entertaining, certainly a much more enjoyable way to spend one’s evening compared to most any other evenings.

The fashion show, though it has steadily devolved from extravagance to stern simplicity through the years, has become a cherished ritual, proof that the fashion industry is alive and well. Still.

Any fashion designer who has dreamed and dared to stage a fashion show knows how much time and effort, heart and soul, goes into mounting a production. It’s not something that happens in a snap. It is a deliberate and focused enterprise that is undertaken to promote not just one’s collection but bolster one’s reputation as a designer. Together with the influential set, a mafia composed of members of the lifestyle press, along with a handful of society’s most influential persons, a gala is one way to press forward a fashion designer’s agenda.

It must take a lot of chutzpa to do something like that. The production involves countless people and a lot of money. In putting it all together, I’ve seen how it can take so much more. It is a concerted effort of so many. But after the last light has dimmed, and after the last note of the music played, the staging is almost always worth it. Those who have seen it will surely talk about it and the press will write about it, assuring a fair share of mind space among the people to whom the show is mainly addressed—the clients. And for that alone, it is an achievement. Perhaps nothing more, but certainly, nothing less. For all intents and purposes, it is a show of fashion.

As a professional photographer, I’ve had the privilege of photographing some of the most beautiful women in Philippine showbiz. Name a name, and I’ve probably already photographed her. Maybe, even more than once, as is sometimes the case. Because of this, I get to be asked many questions about them. But one question that I get asked all the time is this: Sino ang pinaka-maganda sa kanilang lahat? (Who is the fairest of them all?)

And that, for me, is the toughest question ever to answer.

Everyone who asks me this question invariably wants me to, well, name names. They are typically half-expecting and half-hoping that I’d come up with a name or two that would satisfy their curiosity.

For sure, I am always tempted to name-drop, but I would stop myself before I blurt out a list of names, because, really, the last thing I’d like to tell them, when confronted, is to actually say out names. First of all, I am not comfortable with the idea of answering such a question. I hesitate to answer with a list of names simply because, other than the fact that what may be beautiful to me may not be beautiful to them, I don’t want to unwittingly offend anyone by missing out on their favorite star or stars. Or, worse, by naming the wrong names, I don’t want to be perceived and tagged as having no taste at all in beautiful women!

And so, mostly, I keep quiet. Or, I turn the question around. I ask them who they think are the most beautiful Filipina celebrities. That usually get them thinking really hard, and they eventually tell me who they like, whether or not they are beautiful. What’s usually more important is that they are naming who they like. And for me, there’s nothing wrong with that. Each one of us has our own idea of who we think are truly beautiful and who we like. And in this case, there’s really no wrong or right answer.

But if the one asking me this question is a talent manager of a star? Or an industry insider? Am I ready to tell the truth? I can easily deal with those who are outside the periphery of showbiz, but not those whom I work with. That kind of question takes on a different meaning. It no longer becomes a matter of talk, but often, a yardstick for the longevity and the selling factor of the celebrities mentioned, or for that matter, not mentioned. It’s one thing when you talk about such matters idly, but it’s totally another matter when it becomes a factor in showbiz decision-making.

In reality, of course, just like you, I have a list of personal favorites. These are the stars whom I have seen upclose and personal, and whom, with authority, I can say are truly beautiful. And so, to answer the question who among them is the fairest, I decided to come up with a photo exhibit.

I called the photo exhibit: “Beauty.” Believe me, I couldn’t come up with a better title. It was my 50th show, the last before I left Manila over a year ago. It featured 50 of my favorite contemporary black-and-white portraits of those whom I consider to be the most beautiful women in showbiz.

This exhibit was held from May 2 to June 18, 2006 at the main ground floor lobby of the George B Vargas Museum of the University of the Philippines (UP) in Diliman. Incidentally, another B&W portrait exhibit of Filipina women by another photographer was being held simultaneously at the Vargas Museum. This other exhibit featured Filipina women considered to be the most influential and most successful in various fields of endeavor such as politics, the arts, social sciences, the academe, and most notably, not showbiz.

So, who made my list of 50 most beautiful women?

In no particular order, these women are: Charlene Gonzales, Iya Villana, Kristine Hermosa, Janice de Belen, Jean Garcia, Alessandra Da Rossi, Angel Aquino, Nadine Samonte, Jennylyn Mercado, Karylle, Jolina Magdangal, Chynna Ortaleza, Kuh Ledesma, Regine Velasquez, Anne Curtis, Regine Tolentino, Judy Anne Santos, Leizel Martinez, Angelica Panganiban, Angelika Dela Cruz, Aubrey Miles, Camille Prats, Maxine Magalona, Agot Isidro, Angel Locsin, Marian Rivera, Eula Valez, Maricar De Mesa, Bianca Gomez, Vina Morales, Jackie Lou Blanco, Chin-Chin Guttierez, Bea Alonzo, Yasmien Kurdi, Sunshine Dizon, Ruffa Gutierrez, Rica Peralejo, Maricel Soriano, Kyla, Gellie De Belen, Dina Bonnevie, Karel Marquez, Melanie Marquez, Carmina Villaroel, Cheska Garcia, Issa Calzado, Maritoni Fernandez, Lorna Tolentino, Mylene Dizon, and, Risa Samson.

While this list appears to be definitive, that’s not to say that there are only 50 beautiful women in showbiz. It would be a gross understatement. I am very sure that there must be more than 50 beautiful women in Philippine show business then and now. But to those who wants to know who I consider to be the most beautiful, that’s my answer right there. In the form of a photo exhibit.

How did I choose these names? Initially, I picked out the names from the list of those whom I’ve already photographed. I included only those whom I’ve already worked with. It would be unfair to include names of women whom I’ve never photographed before because I wouldn’t be a really good judge of thier beauty if I haven’t seen them through the lens, the way I did these women.

My initial list came out to about more than a hundred names. The hard part is how to trim it down. I decided, since I was commemorating my 50th photo exhibit, to show only 50 names as well. I would think and re-think my choices over and over again. And up to the last minute, I even made a couple of changes. The list of celebrities, therefore, that I chose, are very well-considered.

Often times, in considering a name to be included in the exhibit, I have to dig deep and come up with reasons why I wanted the person included. These factors often go beyond the obvious criteria of physical beauty.

As a photographer, I draw upon my experience when photographing them. Are they easy to work with? Were they cooperative and do they work well with others? Did they respond to my photographic directions and motivations? Did they project the kind of look I wanted?

I ended up recalling many, many photo sessions at my studio just to be able to justify my selection.

I expect that not everyone will agree with my list. And that’s alright. What is beautiful to me may not be beautiful to you. Or, simply, for one reason or the other, you may not like the celebrities I’ve chosen.

But you have to admit that, in a lot of ways, this is a good list of names. Other than the fact that it seems to be a who’s who in Philippine showbiz, each of them have established their individual mark. They each come from different backgrounds, each from a different set of circumstances. Still, they all represent some of the most successful, most enduring, and most intriguing characteristic of a woman. They may be different from each other, but three things define them, albeit, clearly: fame, fortune, and yes, beauty.

[Note: This piece originally appeared in the new "Fabulous!" column by Dominique James in Filipino Times & Asian Review (East Coast Edition) published by EA Media Enterprises, LLC. Dominique James is a professional photographer, writer and graphic designer now based in New York. He is also a contributing Lifestyle Editor for Global Philippines Magazine. For more information, visit his website at www.dominiquejames.com or for inquiries, send email to: dominiquejames@mac.com.]

BY DOMINIQUE JAMES

If someone tells you that your portfolio is perfect, don’t believe it. There is no such thing as a perfect model’s portfolio. At any point in time, there is only the best possible portfolio, which you can still make better over time, that showcases your looks, experiences and abilities for a perticular modeling genre. It is the kind that can help you sell.

Here are some ideas that you may might find helpful in putting together a professional-portfolio for the first time, or, even when updating your existing book:

PACKAGING – In an industry that is obsessed with aesthetics, the “packaging” of your portfolio must look professional. Get a professional-looking case, usually with black leather covers, that projects a professional image. You can buy it yourself from a store like Models Mart in New York, order online, or, ask someone you know to get one for you (if you happen to have no direct access). A great portfolio case is a small investment that can showcase your images in a favorable and professional manner.

SIZE – According to several models, photographers, and modeling agents from various agencies that I’ve talked to, the preferred photo size for a model’s book is 9×12 inches that will fit nicely into 9.5×12.5 sleeves. Some people refer to this as the New York book. Some agencies have “walk around” books with photos printed in 6×9 and 5×7, but the main book is 9×12. Big photos, such as those in 11×14-inch or 16×20-inch sizes are good, and can even be impressive, but may end up being too bulky to carry around and present.

NUMBER – The number of pictures you put in a book largely depend on the number of great shots that you have. It could probably be anywhere from 12 pictures or less, and maybe even 40 photographs or more. Having at least two great shots in your book, whatever number of pictures you compile, will be important. You might want to consider that presenting too few images might be misconstrued as lacking in modeling experience while having too many images can be unweildy. Present as many great photos as you can, but remember that you don’t show is just as important as what you show. And, as people in the industry say, your portfolio is only as good as your worst shot. So, even beyond the number of images to consider, look at and aim to build a collection of strong and compelling images.

THEMES – The real purpose of a model’s portfolio is to showcase, within your genre, a range of looks, your experiences, as well as ability and talent as a model. In your book, therefore, it is not enough that you show changes of outfits, but, you should primarily show a variety of images with different photographic styles, settings, hair and makeup, and looks within your scope. Possibly, the more variety within a certain range, the better. A portfolio is a collection of images that presents the many different looks that you can project as a model within a range, one that you can do, within many possible photographic studio and location shots. If your aim is to target several modeling genres, you may want to create multiple books organized and arranged according to these genres.

ORGANIZATION – The sequence of presenting photographs should be in proper order. Your book begins with a clean and simple head-and-shoulder image. This is usually a well-lit image taken in a studio. It is your identity shot, a representation of your real identity that shows the most beautiful you. After that, you can show various images within your genre. Images of location shoots may be interspersed with studio shots, and also with photos from several actual works done within that genre. The important thing is to tell a story that imparts a single message: you are right model that the client is looking for.

VARIETY – Variety and individuality of each image within your range is key. One way to achieve this is by working with different photographers, hair-and-makeup artists, stylists, designers. Each photograph must show something different, or reveal another facet of you as a model that’s within your range. Though it is a hard and tedious process, ruthlessly edit out images that may be repetitive. In the end, select only the most compelling and most powerful images.

CONSISTENCY – Photographs in a portfolio must appear consistent: same size, same dimension, same print style, same everything. Throwing in images of various sizes and types might result in an unattractive visual array. When you are preparing more than one copy of your portfolio, tearsheets, prints, clippings, snapshots, articles, and cut-outs must be reproduced and presented uniformly. Create a standardized copy of each image in a standardized portfolio print while compiling the originals, particularly tearsheets. The “sameness” of prints, page after page, shows how well you have organized your book. Reproducing photos and materials is nowadays quite easy and affordable. As a proof, bring with you a compilation of the actual tearsheets of advertising and editorial work, the gold standard in modeling work. That will reinforce your presentation.

PRESENTATION – When making a personal presentation, let the images speak for themselves. You can bring up bits of information about the shoot when asked, but keep your answers brief and to the point. Avoid the tendency to talk at length or in detail, but share just enough to give the onlooker the information needed.

UPDATED – Coming up with a good portfolio is just the first step. Keeping it updated and relevant is another. Your portfolio should always look fresh, new and exciting. Every so often, you should add new photos and replace the old ones. This process of planting new images into your portfolio, and weeding out the old ones, should be done constantly. In time, and as you gain experience, you should be able to add more images from tearsheets. Many, if not most professional models, maintain an updated portfolio. It’s a never-ending process. It is a sales tool.

QUANTITY – You can begin or just keep and maintain a single copy of your portfolio, which you can bring and show around. In time, you might feel the need to create duplicates so you can circulate your book to more people. If you have representation, your agent or agency might also feel the need to prepare 3 or more copies of your portfolio. By having several copies, although not necessary, it is possible to maximize exposure for some models to show around to people who might want or need to see it, thereby increasing the chances of being booked for modeling assignments. In time, and as you become successful in your modeling career, you or your agency may even no longer find the need to maintain a portfolio.

CARDS – You cannot leave your portfolio behind. Or, when your portfolios are in circulation, it is understood that it will be returned to you or you should get it back, normally, within a week or so. But it doesn’t mean that you can’t leave anything behind. For the industry insiders who have seen your portfolio, one way to make you more memorable to them is to prepare a comp card or zed card that you can freely give away. Your comp card, usually in size 5.5×8.5 inches, shows a head shot of you in the front, and a composite representation of your best 4 or 5 images at the back. It also includes your measurements and contact details. Some models, instead of a comp card, they might opt to leave behind a small photo book instead. Or, at the least, leave a business card.

MORE – In this day and age, the Internet is a good way to showcase your portfolio. One way to do it is through ModelMayhem.com, now one of the most popular portals for models. Having an online portfolio is an efficient way of showcasing your works and talents and potentials as a model. Plus, it can serve as an instant reference or resource about you and your work. Take the time to create a simple online portfolio that you can easily and quickly update with photos, measurements and contact details. In case you need to show your photos right away, you can just point them to your online portfolio.

Of course, while no one can say for certain that having an excellent portfolio is a guarantee for success, many will agree that it is something that can be helpful in getting signed up for modeling assignments, specially when you are just starting. But not all models need a portfolio. For a lot of models however, it may be necessary to have one; and perhaps, it can serve as an important tool in gaining competitive advantage. A portfolio, therefore, can be the beginning, as well as possibly sustain, a successful modeling career.

[Note: Dominique James is a fashion and portrait photographer. View his profile and models portfolio online at http://www.modelmayhem.com/dominiquejames. For more information, please call +1-912-246-1131, send email to dominiquejames@mac.com, or go to his blog at www.dominiquejames.wordpress.com. Dominique James is a Nikon Pro Photographer, an Apple Certified Professional and Trainer, and an Epson Stylus Pro Photographer. He is currently based in New York.]

How often do you get to work with people you don’t actually like? Does it bother you? Is your standard of performance generally lower when you know you are dealing with people you don’t like compared to the ones that you like?

As a professional photographer for more than 15 years, I must have worked with all kinds and all “sorts” of people. There are the friendly ones, and there are those who are not too friendly, and everyone in between. But does it bother me that some people I work with are not exactly the friendly sort? Yes it does. But I make sure they don’t know it. The way I carry on, I work as if nothing is wrong, and I deal with them as if they are the finest people on earth, and I would want to work with anyone else. That’s part of the secret of being a “professional” photographer.

I sometimes think that, when I get handed the check as payment for my “professional” services, I often feel as though that I’m being paid not because of the services I rendered, but because I am being compensated for the way I have to put up with the people I have to work with.

What I particularly find annoying is when agency people “look down” on you, as if you don’t know any better or that you don’t even know half of what they know. Have you ever worked with people from the advertising agencies? Gosh, they are the strangest people on planet Earth. They carry on as if they are God’s gift to humanity. They are so arrogant!

Well, before I get lambasted, I should say, “not all of them.” Many of them, but not all of them. I have lots of friends in the advertising world, and many of them works for advertising agencies, and they are the coolest bunch. But, just as many are the most absurd people I know as well. Yes, I know because I’ve worked with a whole lot of them. It is unavoidable. Every time a project comes in where I have been commissioned to do the photography, my first concern is not about photography per se, but the people I will be working with. Not everyone is nice. There are those who can be really rough, and tough, to work with.

Now, I don’t mind working with tough people. Actually, I do expect the people that I work with to be really tough. Otherwise, I will doubt their credibility and credentials. So, I’m really very used to working with the toughies. I can work with the toughest people and I’d be fine with that. Just give me a barf bag, and I will be alright. I can carry on all day long as if nothing is wrong. Of course, at the back of my mind, I am always hoping that they won’t be jerks. They are acting and being like “jerks” when they think they know better. I absolutely hate it when they think they know better than others. When they carry on in high-winded fashion, that’s when I need the barf bag. It’s tough enough to be working with tough people without them being jerks. But since my paycheck is coming from the agency, I mostly just brace myself and bear with it in a painful, golden silence. And the hardest part of it all is that I have to smile at them through it all.

There’s not much I can do, specially when I love the project, and specially because I love the money that comes in with most agency projects. And, the mere fact that I am working with an advertising agency, that the ad agency chose me over many others in a very long list from their “black book” of suppliers, is a badge of honor of sorts. It means, I can deliver. This is why they chose me in the first place.

I just comfort myself with the fact that, the reason why they brought me in, in the first place, is not to dictate upon my style or creativity or accomplishment as a professional photographer, but to draw upon the deep well of my professional knowledge, strength, creeativity, style. They chose me to work with them because they know, and hopefully they do know, that I can not only deliver the deliverables, but provide an added value to the work that they do. In other words, I hope, and they are hoping too, that I can make them look good to their clients. If they are happy with the work I did, and if they are happy with the clients, and if they are blissfully ignorant of the fact that I know better than them, then all is well and good. I don’t have to point out the fact that I am better or I know more than they do. I don’t have to tell them, or make them realize, and therefore satisfy my huge ego, that I am much better than them.

Let them go on believing that they know better. I’m just happy, as it is, to realize that I know what I’m doing, and for them to keep asking me to work with them. The mere fact that they want to continue working with me is enough sign, and is a redeeming value, of their intelligence and shrewdness. They think they know better, but I think I know best. At least, they know how to pick whom to work with. For that alone, I let them be, and I let them off the hook.

So, how do we do this? What’s the best way to handle jerks? I mean, agency people …. What, exactly, is the winning strategy?

Let’s just keep this our own little secret. When we meet them, when we talk to them, let’s just smile sweetly and innocently, as if we don’t know any better. Let’s not make them realize, or let’s not tell them that we actually know better. Ms. Manners says that (yes, I’ve read the book), short of feeding their ego, we don’t really have to do anything about it. It’s not our fault that we know better. Just let them continue thinking that they are on top of things. (Oh yes, Ms. Manners says that it’s their problem that they are jerks, and they need therapy.)

Because we know better, it becomes our serious responsibility to watch out for them, without them knowing it, so that they won’t make too many mistakes and therefore cause too much damage. We are in the unique, but delicate position of helping keep them on a straight and narrow path of the right, and so that they won’t fall by the wayside.

If we do our job right, it becomes all the more fulfilling. Not only did we do our work as a photographer, but, we also did our part in the larger scheme of things, in making the project a success. And, don’t wait to be acknowledged for your help in making the project a success. Since no one realizes it but you, you only have yourself to congratulate. You won’t hear others congratulating you about this, but, just keep this to yourself, and celebrate on your own if you like to, but really, you don’t need to let them in on your own victorious celebration.

On the other hand, when you try to put your foot forward, and you try to show off that makes the agency looks bad and stupid, specially infront of the client and other people (e.g. suppliers), they will certainly feel vulnerable and they will feel bad about it. And they will certainly feel bad about you for pointing it out to them and making it obvious. And because of this, and unless they are masochists by nature, they won’t forget the discomfort and humiliation you’ve caused them, and the will not forget you. When they remember you, they will remember you as the guy who “belittled” them, hence, they wouldn’t be too keen on getting you next time. There will be no more next time.

It’s all in a balance really. Dealing with people that you work with as a photographer is often harder than doing the actual job itself. You need to be always conscious of the different types of people you are dealing with, being nice to everyone and all, on top of being a professional photographer and doing your job, and surpassing everyone’s expectations as well. Very tough. But it can be done. And it should be done. That’s the hallmark of a pro.

Now, unless you’ve become the superstar photographer where you are even more famous than most of the people you are photographing, then somehow, maybe, you can start acting like a prima donna. Because you can now dictate, and the rules of engagement have changed, with people kowtowing to you instead, then, hopefully, they will all bow down to your whims, fancies and desires. You have nothing and no one to answer to but your focus on your commitment to deliver, and you can do it in any damn way that you please. But really, what’s the point? Ego? There are far better sources of satisfaction than flaunting your superiority. And sometimes, keeping the secret that you know better is far more satisfying. Let others think that they know best. I just keep things to myself.

And oh, by the way; yes, I have a lot of secrets.

With the advent of digital imaging technology, interest in photography has been on a steep, unstoppable rise. In fact, right now, it seems that its massively seductive “techno” appeal will not wane anytime soon. With the barrier to digital photography somewhat lower now compared to the film era of yore, many are eager to try it out. From all indications, ranging from sky-high camera sales to the explosion of photography sites and forums on the web, we see that more and more people really, and almost seriously, are going into it. 

It’s a very good thing, for photography. But it’s a bad thing, for those who want to engage in it. I notice that despite the eagerness of many to practice the art and craft of photography, not too many are as eager, and as patient, to learn and understand, and therefore to make the most, out of photography. The demand for learning is on the rise, no doubt, and many people engaging in photography who are actively seeking for nuggets of information that can help them in their individual photographic quests. However, not everyone are willing to delve and dig deep. Many, it would seem, are content to just scratch the surface. I can’t blame them. Photography is hard.

Take for instance, the necessity of learning Photoshop. I hear many people raise a most important question, and one that should be addressed properly: Should I or should I not use Photoshop? This, and similar questions, is indicative of the naivety, lack of appropriate education, and absence of real passion, from among those who appear to want to go into photography. I wonder, sometimes, if their interest will last or if their interest will remain keen, when they find out that having money to buy photographic gears is not enough to respectfully engage in the art and craft of digital photographic imaging.

With the most question of whether one should use or not to use Photoshop, we see a low level of know-how from the roster of newcomers. This is why there is so much misconception involved when it comes to altering, enhancing and editing photographs. New practitioners, awed and dazzled by the seeming “magic” that Photoshop and similar editing software can create, will naturally try it out. Unfortunately, lack of knowledge and background into the idea of what Photoshop is, what it can really do, why it is needed, can easily lead not only to confusion and misunderstanding, but to abuse of this and other similar software.

Allow me to share with you a few ideas about Photoshop, it’s uses, misuses, and abuses. Consider this a quick introductory guide to Photoshop. Perhaps, my sharing, can be a good kick-off point for intelligent, thorough, thoughtful discourse on this matter. And I hope, it will lead those who are serious about photography, to the right path. For sure, there will be much disagreement, and that is to be expected. Differences in viewpoints is useful and interesting, and hopefully, as digital imaging technology evolves in sophistication, will someday give us one correct answer, if ever there will be one.

Let me begin by pointing out the simple photographic process that is adhered to by photographers reared from and in the “revered” film era. When a film is exposed, shooting with a camera, the natural step will be for the photographer or the technician to “develop” that film, meaning, removing the chemical light-sensitive layers in the darkroom, to reveal a negative film that can be used to create photo prints or photographs, also in the darkroom. The method of “cleaning” or “stripping” the film involves different kinds of processes that can yield different results. At the time when the film is being processed, the photographer can therefore already implement his creative decision-making as to how it can or should be developed. This means, it can either be developed normally or typically, or it can be creatively developed with such seemingly esoteric methods as “cross-processing” and other techniques. Very few are aware that even at the early stage of film development, even just by changing the development time, can already affect the quality and characteristic of the negative, which will, in turn, affect or influence the type of final photo prints.

Once the negative is ready, the photographer now goes to the next “involved” and “creative” stage which is print the photo. When printing the photograph, in the darkroom, the photographer can control areas of the negative, such as some over-exposed parts of the image, say, the sky is featureless, in which case, he might want to bring details in the sky. What the photographer or printer can do during this printing stage in the darkroom is probably to “dodge and burn” portions of the image during the printing process, meaning, controlling the exposure of the light on certain portions the paper; and then, he can also decide how long should the wet paper be “developed” in a solution, before fixing the image to it. In other words, during the printing process, he naturally also exerts his “creative influence” and “judgment” that results to how a photograph particularly comes out in final print.

The methods that I described above, activities that photographers or printers may routinely do, are all part of a post-production process. This means, after even the shoot, the photographer is still in the process of “creating” the image on print. And yes, logically, it means the photographer is undeniably exerting his creative influence in the post-production work.

In today’s digital age, all the principles of the development stage of the negative film and the darkroom printing techniques, are still being done. In a “digital way” as computer-oriented post-production work, using software tools like Apple’s Aperture and Adobe’s Photoshop, among others. Today, we collectively call the “creative” decisions, controls and implementation as: editing, manipulation, and enhancement.

I’m sure, by this time, you are all already aware of what is now known as the RAW digital image format. All professional and semi-professional DSLR cameras can be set to capture with its native RAW format, other than JPEG and other format settings.

You might want to know that almost all professional photographers will choose to shoot using RAW format setting most of the time instead of the JPEG setting. The reason for preferring to shoot in RAW is that it is like shooting with a negative film. After the shoot, you can then edit your photos using Photoshop, Aperture, and other such similar software, which is similar to what film photographers do when developing their rolls of negatives and “dodging and burning” in the darkroom when printing the photos.

In other words, and despite the huge difference in approach and technology, both the film and the digital photographers, are essentially still doing the same thing. The paradigm did not shift. Their work is still two-pronged: the art and style and craft and technique of capture, which is shooting, and, the art and style and craft and technique of post-production, which is development and darkroom work for film photographers and digital editing, manipulation and enhancement work for digital shooters. In photography, shooting is half the equation. The other half is post-production work, before printing. To create an image, to bring out the vision of a photographer, is a two-step process. Shoot and post-production. Because of this, it is therefore almost naive to think that we do not need Photoshop.

Of course, it’s ok NOT to do Photoshop. You can shoot in JPEG mode with your high-end DSLR, which, almost all digital point-and-shoot does, and then print them straight or post the photo to your website “as is.” That is a perfectly fine practice. It’s all well and good. What most people do not know is that all cameras, without exception, including all point-and-shoot cameras, shoot in RAW format the way your high-powered DSLRs do. The only thing is, the point-and-shoot cameras automatically process the images into JPEG and creates a post-processed JPEG final output in-camera. The camera’s technology has already, in effect, automatically and almost instantaneously “photoshopped” your image before you even transfer it to your computer. It has already been enhanced without even you realizing it. And that is why, when you print it, it already looks good–crisp, bright and clean, with rasor-sharp edges as well as brilliant and saturated colors. This process is similar to bringing your film to a Kodak center, where they develop and print it for you, without you doing anything. Kodak uses a standard “photoshopping” setting for all.

Now, unsuspecting people, thinking that they want to improve their point-and-shoot JPEG shots, will ignorantly try to apply Photoshop editing to an already JPEG “in-camera, photoshopped” image. And as they do, they see that the image begins to disintegrate right under their mouse controls. This is because JPEG images already processed has dramatically less pixels to work with compared to the unprocessed huge RAW image files. Notice the astounding difference in file size. So when editing an already “in-camera” edited image, the photos begin to get pixelized, and colors become flaky. Photoshop is destructively throwing away more pixels. That is why, cameras, including top of the line DSLRs, when using the JPEG mode, has the same capability as point-and-shoot cameras. The photographer is not making the most out of the features of his camera. He is using it as a point-and-shoot camera. The only way to get the best possible image from a high-end DSLR is to shoot in the highest setting which is the RAW format. I’m surprised that so many people with high-end DSLRs still shoot in JPEG. They are not making the most out of the capabilities of their cameras. They should shoot in RAW. There is almost no logical excuse not to do so.

Of course, there are situations when even the world’s best and most knowledgeable photographers must (not will) shoot in JPEG mode. One example is a news photographer or a photojournalist who may be in the middle of a battlefield documenting war. He knowingly does simply because he doesn’t have time to “edit” or “post-process” his images. He relies on the high JPEG quality of his high-end DSLR to make the “in-camera editing” decisions for him because he does not have the luxury of time to do the editing himself because he is constrained by time and he needs to send the files perhaps through a limited-access online bandwidth where it will land page one of his newspaper, printed in about 150 dpi quality, the following day. In other words, you should use JPEG only when you don’t have time to edit your photos.

But when you have all the time to edit your photos, you should shoot in RAW, manage in Aperture, and post-process it in Photoshop. And like film photography, you can have one source, RAW image, and from it you can create many, wildly different versions. This is something that noted film photographer Ansel Adams does–he creates (or prints) different versions from one negative. He enjoys post-production work in his darkroom as much as he enjoys shooting. To today’s digital shooter, this means, one RAW file, different editing and different eventual versions.

So, if you do not use Photoshop, it is almost certain that you are not making the most out of the awesome capabilities of your high-end DSLR and the high-quality RAW images it can produce. If you shoot only in JPEG and print as is, you are letting the camera decide for you on how the final image is edited and will come out simply because it is doing all these things “in-camera.”

The question therefore, is not whether we should use Photoshop or not. This is a question of whether you are making the most out of your photography, and making the most out of your equipment. And perhaps, in a larger, over-arching context, this is a question of whether the photographer’s technical know-how and aesthetic sense will come in to play when and where he is “pushing” a image to its “photoshopped” limits. In other words, it is possible, and we see this time and again, where some photographers tend to “abuse and misuse” Photoshop.

In news photography or photojournalism, there are strict ethical standards that professional photographers follow. In general, they cannot alter the accurate and actual depiction of image beyond what is acceptable as truth. In other words, there are limits to what can be done to “photoshop” their images. As an accurate visual proof and historical record, the news photograph should constitute cardinal truth. These are what is known as ”found“ images. This means, you cannot “art direct” an image when shooting it for news, and in post-production, you cannot remove something or put something that was not originally there. But, you can sharpen it. You can brighten it. You can adjust its levels and curves, and you can even saturate it a bit.

But photography outside of the sanctified realm of photojournalism are generally acknowledged to be free from these decidedly limiting restrictions. As a matter of fact, photoshopping is an expected norm. Many will be surprised if you don’t use it. Photoshop is part and parcel of the new art and craft of digital photography. So, a celebrity can be edited to death. And you’d be amazed because the viewers expect it now. They’d rather see fantasy instead of reality. Photos like these can be art-directed. These are photographs that are not “found” images. These are “created” images. The challenge is, no matter how much editing, manipulation and enhancement a photographer do, the image is not being judged because it has been worked over, but because of how beautiful, immaculate, and well-done or well-executed it has been edited, manipulated and enhanced.

When issues like this is raised, whether a photographed should be ”photoshopped“ or not, it is not an issue that offends sensibilities, but an issue that shows how little many people who call themselves a photographer or those who can afford to buy  expensive gear knows. And the scary thing is, most of them don’t bother to respectfully learn photography the proper way. They invest in their gear but they do not invest time and effort and energy to properly study and learn all the aspects, art and craft, of digital photographic imaging. They keep shooting and yet they continue to churn awful pictures, only because, they don’t know any better. You know what they say: GIGO – garbage in, garbage out. Professional photographers, who have spent time and money studying and learning, and practicing, can easily spot them. The untrained photographers who may think they know what they are doing will most likely do not even know how to properly hold a camera up to their eye! They are nothing but “charlatans.” My advise therefore is, if you are serious about photography, and if you want to be competitive and to be respected, you have to pay your dues. You have to spend time, effort and energy to learn photography the right way. You have to learn how to do Photoshop.

And, you have to have talent. Otherwise, you really are nothing but a charlatan. Photoshop or not.

My sister, who is a medical doctor, told me that I almost died. I don’t know if she was serious or if she was joking, but I didn’t believe her when she told me so. This is a matter that you rarely joke about. And knowing her, she’s not the type to make such jokes either. But in any case, I didn’t feel like I was in the verge of dying. There was no indication that I was about to die, you know, the usual symptoms we see in movies when actors act out a scene that they are about to die, gasping for their last breath.

“This is your 2nd chance at life,” she said, almost frantically, as if to drive home the point. She might have read my unbelieving facial expression. Even if I didn’t say anything to her, she probably saw the reaction of disbelief in my face, and she just had to react to it. “You almost died,” she said over and over again. Alright, I believe her.

But, I’m still alive. And I’m feeling fine. But that wasn’t the case early this year. When I returned to my parents’ house in Atlanta from a business trip to California last January, I wasn’t feeling fine. The two weeks that I was in San Francisco, I had high fever and my skin just started to turn red all over. My condition started to deteriorate, and I was increasingly having difficulty to move about. What was embarrassing was that I had flakes that I was covering up and hiding all over. Only my face was showing. Like a burrito, I was all wrapped and bundled up. Good thing it was winter, I have an excuse to be wrapped up as if I were a mummy. My eyes constantly felt hot. It was reddish, and I felt constantly dehydrated and about to vomit. On top of that, I couldn’t walk fast or carry my heavy luggage. My joints were swollen, and my knees felt weak and painful. It was hard even to just stand up from a sitting position. It took so much effort to move.

My mother, who fetched me at the airport, was shocked to see my condition. She couldn’t believe her eyes. On the way home, while in the car, I asked everyone to throw their jackets and cover me. I was feverish. And I was having chills. Everyone was confused and nobody really understood what was going on. It was the first time that something like that happened to me. When we got home, I took some medication, went straight to bed, and tried to get some sleep.

The next two weeks, my condition worsened. I got more and more red, and my entire body turned totally red. My skin was swollen in parts, and like a snake changing skin, I was shedding profusely. That was when I earned the nickname, The Red Man.

Wrapped in thick blankets and comforters, with only my face showing, I would smile at everyone, beatifically, and that got them really worried. Instead of showing a pained expression, my smile was almost calm and well-composed. It’s as if I’ve learned to come to terms with my condition, and I’ve resigned myself to whatever fate I am destined to meet. They kept asking me if I want to be brought to the nearby hospital where my sister was working. I kept saying “no” and they couldn’t do anything about it. They felt helpless. And they kept praying for me to get well.

My mother immediately made an appointment with a dermatologist. I felt really embarrassed with my first visit to the new doctor. I couldn’t walk straight and I was all covered up. And I felt scared. I never liked the idea of consulting with a medical professional, and I avoid it as much as I can. But this time, it was unavoidable. What can I say? I’m just glad that my new doctor, was very kind and understanding. The first time I met her and when she saw my condition, she gave me a kind smile and said with a hint of compassion: “You’re really messed up, huh?” The session was quick, and she prescribed some medication, a routine to clean up, including a twice-a-week self-injection with a new drug. Now, you have to understand, I’m scared of needles. The nurse at the clinic taught me how to give myself an injection. I thought I was going to pass out, but luckily, I didn’t.

Little by little, and after two more visits, my condition gradually improved. My constant fever went away, and the new bath routine, the procedure that covered my entire body with sticky ointment, and the self-injection eventually alleviated my condition. While the redness and skin rashes didn’t completely go away, it was now manageable, and I can easily hide them with my clothes. The “normal” color on my face came back, and I started moving about with ease and comfort. I started going out again, and nobody seems to notice anything unusual. I was back to my old self.

I know I’m doing well because, all around the house, we no longer have to constantly sweep the floors and vacuum the carpet as much as we used to. The flaking of my skin was subsiding, and I wasn’t making as much mess as I used to. While I still have to allocate two hours a day to go through my personal routine: lubricating up my entire body with the thick sticky ointment after every ritualistic bath, I felt I was going back on track, regaining my old self, and moving up and about. My motivation to do the stuff I wanted to do was returning, and I started keeping myself busy all over again, forgetting the fact that my sister, at one time, not too long ago, told me, that I almost died.

If not for my skin condition, and my physical condition in particular, I would have already taken my next trip, to New York City. But because of my medical problems, I had to push back whatever my plans and dreams I may have, and concentrate on getting well. I just had to first work on improving my physical condition before I can go and do anything else.

When I was in Manila, I was managing my skin condition with a medication prescribed by my previous doctor. It was working for me, and I managed to somehow go about my business in the best way that I can. But when I moved to the US, I got “messed” up real good. The ointment that I used to use when I was in Manila wasn’t available in the US, and, the change in environmental condition, the change in weather, and the change in everything, which lead to so much stress, led to the breakdown of my physical condition.

Of course, I couldn’t believe that something like this would happen to me, but it did. And, I survived it. Barely. Because as my sister said, I almost died.

The skin condition that I have, which led to my near-death experience, is medically known as psoriasis. It is caused by overactive production of cells. Not a single doctor I’ve been to, and not a single medical brochure or literature, and not a single research, has told me what is the real root cause of psoriasis, and what is the definitive cure, for this disease. 

I probably have had this disease my entire life, but it started manifesting only some 20 years ago. That was about the time when I started my career as a professional photographer. Somehow, it started to manifest at the time when I started using a particular hair gel product made by a popular fashion brand. As I was using it, I started developing dandruff, and from there, it started spreading all over my body, beginning with my back, then the arms and down to my legs. I can’t understand why it didn’t affect certain parts of my body. It just didn’t.

At first I was alarmed, but eventually, I just shrugged it off and learned to live with it. The first doctor I consulted diagnosed my skin ailment as psoriasis. From then on, and since I’ve been told there is no definitive cure, all I can just actually do is to “manage” it.

I’ve been through several doctors. In turn, and other than the progressively expensive medications each would prescribe, I was alternately told to try out relaxation techniques by meditation, learn and engage in the practice of yoga, immerse myself in the old Chinese tradition of tai-chi, and, enlist and call upon God’s help in prayer. In totality, what the doctors was telling me was: to just “take it easy.”

For someone who has a type A personality, this isn’t an easy thing. No matter how much or how hard I try, I’m always still trying to be on top of things with whatever it is I may happen to be doing, most specially when it comes to my work, profession, and obsession, which is photography. I would constantly remind myself that I will eventually kill myself if I keep up with a frenetic lifestyle and punishing work schedule, but, I only increasingly took on more jobs and more responsibility.

Looking back, I never really paid much attention to my skin condition. While it was bothersome, and it hindered me from engaging in some activities I would have loved to do, I tried my best not to mind it. In most cases, I’ve succeeded because I never actually think about it, that is, unless it feels itchy and it becomes bothersome. But other than that, I normally “forget” it’s there. It just wasn’t really a factor.

My skin condition would worsen and flare up about twice or so a year, and I would just try to work my way around it. Through the years, I’ve learned as much as I can, and I tried to just be even-minded about it, living with it, finding creative ways to make sure that it doesn’t get in the way of the things that I have to do.

Of course, I constantly envied how other people can have such great skin all over their bodies, and I certainly wished I were or I have the same. But these were fleeting emotions and fleeting thoughts. Unless, of course, I am in a situation that makes we wish for it really hard. But then, like cigarette addiction, the desire goes away somehow.

For example, I was in Boracay twice the past two years. I’ve always wanted to go to Boracay but I tried not to go there, avoided going there, or to any beach for that matter, because it is one sure way to make my skin condition obvious. During my two trips to Boracay, I had to do a photo shoot project for a male modeling competition. I would have wanted to just go around topless, with nothing on but a dramatically shaded sunglasses and scandalously skimpy shorts, but I just couldn’t. While everyone was in one state of undress or the other, I was trying to stay and look cool while still all ridiculously dressed up with nothing but my hands and my head showing. Believe me, I even tried not to sweat too much while stupidly bundled up in a hot, tropical beach.

I tried not to think what others might be thinking or saying. I just kept consoling myself that having this condition was God’s way of preventing me from getting into so much more trouble than I already am in. Of course, I couldn’t swim, and the only really sensible thing for me to do was to go out at night when it was cool, and stay indoors during daytime when the heat was overpowering. Anyway, I managed to survive Boracay, but, I’m sure I could have done better. Being all covered up isn’t exactly the most elegant way to be in a tropical island where everyone is barely covered. How I envied those who have good skin!

In most of my photo shoots, mostly in the studio, but also on location, my “costume” would be the usual jeans, shoes, belt. I also wear long-sleeves almost all of the time. I can’t wear shorts, or t-shirt, the way I’ve seen some photographers do, during their pictorials. Because I wear long-sleeves all the time, I imagine that, to others, I look somehow formal and maybe a bit dignified. Although, they would realize that being dignified is just an illusion once I start moving about and talking loudly!

My ensemble is quite simple. If you see me, there’s nothing ordinary or fancy about what I’m wearing or about the way I dress up. Although I photograph fashion a lot, and because of my work, I’m one of the few who gets to peek into what the latest fashion trend is going to be even before it hits the street, my manner of dressing is so simple and ordinary, and you can even say, somewhat outdated. To the dismay of my fashionista friends, I’m about four to six seasons late from the latest. I tend to shun away from the trendy stuff. I’m not so conscious about buying and wearing the latest fashion. And in general, I don’t really shop for clothes or fashion items. When shopping, I’m more interested in checking out whatever latest gadget, computer and electronic stuff that’s out there.

Often, it is my partner who ends up shopping for me. Or, if there are interesting stuff I happen to be photographing in the studio for a fashion catalog, that’s when I shop, “buying” it direct from the manufacturer or client right after the pictorial. But really, unless I’m photographing it, and although I’m very aware of what’s going on, personally, fashion is not my thing. Important I know it is, as an industry and as a way of making an impeccable impression. But as Donald Trump somewhat enviously said in one funny Macy’s ad that features Mariah Carey and Martha Stwart, “How so very shallow.”

And yet, despite all my seeming disdain for fashion and the culture of appropriate, proper and cutting-edge self-presentation, it takes me more than two full hours to get ready every single time! From the moment I step into the bath to the moment I’m all decently dressed, I would have spent more than 120 minutes. It’s a wasteful extravagance! And no matter how much I try to consciously speed things up, I always somehow end up spending more time. Because of this, I just stopped trying. I learned there’s no sense in getting all worked up over this. And the crazy thing is, despite the fact that I spend so much time, probably even more time than Tessa Prieto-Valdez spends in getting ready, I still end up looking quite plain and ordinary. The hours it takes me to get ready just doesn’t add up. Though decent, my looks won’t even gain the second look of most. And certainly, I never receive any compliment for how well I dress or how nice my clothes look like, or how well they look good in me. I don’t experience such things. One time, I asked my good friend and fashion maven, Joey Espino, for suggestions on how I should dress up. I was so excited with the idea of “putting together” a new look. I spent lots of time researching fashion magazines and all. But, it has come to naught. There was even this other time when I decided my look should all be “linen” and I got myself a whole wardrobe of nice linen shirts, but, it was something that I grew tired with very quickly, and not to mention, that it was so “itchy”–not a good idea for someone like me who’s having skin problems.

If I meet you, and if we are locked in the mortal combat of a getting-to-know-you mode of conversation, you might be surprised if I suddenly ask you how long does it take for you to get ready. You might find the question offensive or funny, since it’s actually a personal thing, but please do not take offense because I don’t mean anything by it. I only want to know, and to compare, whether the length of time it takes me to get ready, is the same as yours or most everyone else. I just want to know what is the normal, standard time it takes for most people to get ready. Oh, by the way, because I kept asking, I discovered that for the majority, it’s about 45 minutes. So that’s when I discovered, not surprisingly, that I’m one of the very few who takes a very, very long time to get ready.

Why do I take so long? Well, when taking a bath or when taking a shower, I have to carefully rub myself all over, from head to foot, and I have to do it twice or thrice — from soaping to rinsing to drying. And then, once I step out of the shower, I have to rub myself all over again with a sticky ointment to prevent my skin from drying. It’s a tedious process, and believe me, I always wish there was a faster and easier way. I get really bored by the whole process. I learned to listen to my laptop’s podcasts the moment I step out of the shower to prep myself up before dressing up. This way, I am able to do something “productive” while getting ready. At least, I am able to make better use out of the “getting-ready” time that I have to unavoidably spend every day. If I have my way, I’ll put a water-proof speaker system in my bathroom! I would love to totally eliminate wasted time!

So, that’s the reason why I’m almost always late for my pictorials and appointments. Not because I’m trying to create an impression that I’m a VIP by keeping everyone waiting, but with my condition, which don’t necessarily have to explain to everyone, I really just can’t help it. It takes me a really inordinate amount of time just to get ready every day. I am amazed and I envy those who can get ready in 15 minutes or less. That’s a time-saver! The truth is, I get really excited with all of my pictorials. I look forward to it. I don’t know why, but that’s just how I am. Even with the most simple and mundane of shoots, I get really jumpy. I can’t help it. That is my nature. But I can’t also help being late to my shoots most of the time, because of what I have to go through.

Anyway, almost everyone who has seen me will attest to the fact that I am easily excitable. I love being excited and exciting. And, other than being with my son and my partner, I am happiest and excited when I am shooting. And so, I often forget that I have this terrible skin condition, and I go about the pictorial without thinking about it. Good thing that my photo shoot assistants are constantly aware and alert, because every now and then, part of their job description is to always make sure that I am decently covered while I lay on the floor, hanging on a ledge or on top of a ladder. Whatever position I’m in, on top or at the bottom, they have to make sure that my “slip isn’t showing.” Part of the job of my assistants is watch out for me and keep me decently covered all along.

Still, my assistants can only do so much. While they try to do their best, they cannot forever keep me protected from uncommon eventualities. One time, after completing a particularly difficult but successful and beautiful image layout, the celebrity I was shooting came up to me excitedly,  and started pulling my shirt up and down, exposing my stomach and lower back. I was surprised at what she did that I couldn’t move, and when she saw the red spots in my skin, she eventually stopped what she was doing and let go of my shirt. Good thing that no one was really looking at us, but I felt bad for her because she was embarrassed not so much with what she saw but with what she did to me. I knew she wanted to apologize, but maybe, out of shock as well, she just didn’t know what to do at that time or how to handle the situation.

Other than the surprise with the turn of events, I felt slightly embarrassed at being unexpectedly exposed like that, and I actually felt somewhat angry and frustrated at what she did. But, as I thought about it, I couldn’t put the blame on her, no matter how much I would want to. For one thing, she didn’t know. And another thing, she was just really excited at what we were able to achieve. I just took a deep breath and let it go. This female celebrity is actually very vocal. She’s always in the news over some controversy or an issue. I’ve always wondered if she’s ever going to talk about what she did to me? I guess not. I’m sure it’s something that the public won’t find interesting at all. And so far, she hasn’t. Which is just a good thing. Not that I’m trying to “hide” things, I just don’t see any sense in making this thing public. I’m far from being a “public figure,” and I don’t necessarily quality as a “poster boy” to give a face to the kind of skin condition that I and million of others are experiencing.

The past 15 or so years, and as a professional photographer, I’ve had the most amazing experience and opportunity of photographing almost all of the famous personalities in the Philippines. From entertainment personalities to fashion models and from politicians to socialites, my digital archive is a repository of who’s who in the country. Almost anyone and everyone who’s got a a name for himself or herself, who may, at one time or another, become popular, most likely has an image file in my archive.

I can say that perhaps, there are only two or three other photographers in the Philippines who can claim such a distinction for now. Make that five tops. If you think how many photographers there are today, and putting things in proper perspective, it becomes quite a bit of something. And although the idea tickles me no end, I am surprised that it is something that I actually do not refer to as a point of pride. It’s just a matter of fact. Before I even realized it, and except for Sharon Cuneta and those who are still inside Kuya’s house, I’ve already somehow photographed almost everyone who’s been kissed by fame.

Most of them are beautiful. Absolutely, stunningly beautiful. They have the most beautiful faces. They have the most perfect of bodies. They have the most flawless of skins. I am at awe with their beauty. Every single day, when I get to work, and as I raise my camera to my eyes, I am feted with beauty. My work, my life, has always been about beauty. I can say that I have one of the most interesting jobs. Imagine, all I have to do is to capture and forever preserve that beauty. It’s an amazing job, and I can’t imagine doing anything else.

Last year, before I left for the US, I mounted my 50th photo exhibit. It was was a solo show held at the Vargas Museum of the University of the Philippines. What an amazing event it has been for me. I was told that it has been one of the most attended photo exhibits in the museum. In a single show, I managed to put together the awe-inspiring and definitive portraits of 50 of the most beautiful women in Philippine show business whom I’ve photographed through the years.

One morning, just before the museum door opens, and as I was walking through the exhibit hall where the almost life-size images of the beautiful women were mounted, I felt my cheeks getting wet. I didn’t realize I was crying. It wasn’t obvious at first why, but, I was crying for their endless beauty. And I was crying for the irony of it all. For the first time in more than 15 years since I turned pro, and since I started photographing the most beautiful people, did I feel the heavy oppression of the irony of it all.

Here I am, photographing and preserving beauty, and yet, I myself do not possess such beauty. My skin continues to be ravaged by overactive cells constantly threatening to kill me if I do not properly manage it. I have to live with the fact, and die with the fact that, despite the beauty of all others that I preserve and create, it is something that I cannot do for myself. This is one fact that I have to live with all my life. It is a fact that I will have to die over. Ultimately, it is the over-arching story of my life and my work as a photographer. It is the heavy-handed and oppressive irony of a deceptive beauty.